podcast

Podcast Episode 28: Saying No

Saying no is a crucial skill to learn if you are going to be in charge of your life. Today we will look at when and why to say no, how it's not always a black and white answer, and various ways to say no.
balanced life myth graphic

The Balanced Life Myth

Too many people talk about living a balanced life, as if life can be slotted into the chunks of a pie graph. The truth is, we don't balance, not as people typically think.

In fact, it's not about doing more, but rather being deliberate about what you do, and letting the rest go.
edit relationships

Editing Life: Relationships

Not all relationships are created equal. Some are great, supportive relationships, while others will suck the life right out of you.

After a round of social isolation, you are probably aware of the benefits and drawbacks of your various relationships. So today we will consider the last phase of our editing life series: relationships. As we emerge out of isolation and choose to restructure our lives, we can choose which relationships to nurture and which to let go of. It's time to look at editing relationships.
Editing Life: Projects

Editing Life: Projects

When I was young, I believed I could do everything. People told me I could do "anything" and I assumed that meant "everything". Unfortunately, this has given me a "put more on my plate than I can eat" with respect to the things I want to do.

The truth is, I am not Wonder Woman. I am human. I have limited time and energy. And deciding to do everything right now takes a lot of energy and accomplishes little.

Now that I am reconsidering what I want my life will look like after COVID, I am looking at editing my projects.
Editing Life: Expenses

Editing Life: Expenses

When the pandemic hit with the stay-at-home orders, many people were knocked out of work. The world economy is now officially in recession, and most households are facing lean times. I'm one of the lucky ones in that I can work from home, and my client committed to keeping us consultants employed. But there is still the uncertainty of the future, both for my family, and many others.

One of the outcomes of this recession was that many people cut back on unnecessary spending. I'm including expenses as one of my areas of life to edit, because I have found that I shifted spending, and I'm not sure I want to go back to the way it was.

Editing expenses is not just about cutting back. It's about assessing whether the expense is really giving you a good return on your money, or whether it is the right service to use.

The thing I didn't realize is that I am often paying for things that I don't use or need. If I am aware of such services, and I'm not using them, I then feel like I should "do something about it", which becomes another open loop.
Editing Life: Hobbies

Editing Life: Hobbies

I love my hobbies. Creativity is second nature to me, and I would spend my days making music, braiding, knitting, scrapbooking, doing calligraphy, spinning and writing if I could. Unfortunately, I can't. I have financial and family obligations that preclude my full-time participation in hobbies. In this time of the global pandemic I have found that I have more time to engage my hobbies. But what I also found is that some hobbies were not available due to closures and shortages, and that when it came right down to it, I wasn't interested in some of the hobbies I have had on my lists for a long time.

Going forward, I want to make sure that the things I do in my spare time are meaningful to me. That means I need to edit my hobbies.
Editing Life: Consumption

Editing Life: Consumption

Spending patterns and consumption are areas that get out of control for a lot of us. The pandemic has changed our consumption patterns, if for no other reason than we couldn't get out to the stores. But as the restrictions ease, we have a chance to take a look at our consumption and make conscious choices going forward.

Why is consumption an area for editing? Why not just go back to the way we were?

First of all, we are in a global recession. Money may not be as plentiful as it was before, and it is a good time to continue the habits we formed during isolation.

Secondly, the more I own, the more space I need to store it, and I must devote my time and energy to either using it or taking care of it. Each bit of stuff can be looked at as a mini-open loop, pulling at my attention and energy. By editing this stuff, I have as much as I need, but no more, and thus minimize the drains.

In order to take a look at the consumption, we need to examine our habits.