It used to be that people sent cards at the holidays as a matter of social norm. Now with social media, most people don’t send holiday greetings. After all, it is much easier to click a few times or to post once and let others see it when they may.
I view social media like a book – you don’t know what it contains unless you actually make the effort to open it and read it. Since the point of holiday greetings is to let people know you are thinking of them, I think the social media model is not the right one for the purpose. Does a general “I’m thinking of all you people at this time” really happen? Do you even really know everyone on your friends list?
At the same time, sending holiday greetings to everyone you know might not be the best approach either. Do you really need to reach out to the person you met at a conference and struck up a conversation with? The one who you dutifully followed on social media, but have heard nothing from since? Not all holiday communication have the same worth and value.
So let’s look at how to manage holiday greetings in the 21st century.
Keep Envelopes
My husband was puzzled when I pulled envelopes out of recycling about ten years ago. “Why on earth would you keep those?” There is one simple reason: it’s the best way to make sure I have an up-to-date address. This is particularly true for those relatives I haven’t seen for a while.
I take the envelopes up to my desk, and once a week I update contact information. It’s that simple, and I end up having the most up-to-date information I can for everyone. It would be better if I did it immediately, but updating addresses on my phone can be inaccurate.
Evaluate Relationships
Not every relationship is of the same value. The relationship you have with your children is more valuable than the relationship you have with someone you went to primary school with – and haven’t seen since. At the same time, your energy and time are precious. So who are you going to spend them on? Your valuable relationships? Or people who are essentially strangers?
When dealing with holiday greetings, I’m a big fan of editing the list. I put my time and effort into those relationships I want to maintain – and with those people who also put in time and effort to maintain a relationship with me. In practical terms, it means that I send greetings to those I talk/write/email regularly; and the former neighbors, school mates and people with whom I have had no contact with in three years are off the list. I don’t waste my time and energy in pursuing relationships with those unwilling to reciprocate.
Every year I evaluate my list. I look at if I have had contact with the people in the past three years. If our communication has dwindled to just holiday greetings, is it something that is returned? If not, I take them off the list.
What I have ended up with is a list of about 25 people – down from the almost 75 I used to send 20 years ago.
Decide Best Fit
Not every person uses the same platforms equally well. My mother loves receiving postal mail, as does one of my friends. My college roommate prefers everything electronically. So in that case, their preferences determine what sort of greeting I send them. I take the time to look at what they want and accommodate, because this is about them, not me. (Otherwise I could send a blanket Facebook post and be done with it, right?)
I also decide if a person is going to get a letter or not. It depends mostly on when I saw them last. I have relatives where we haven’t seen each other in years – they get a letter. People I talk/email/write regularly will probably just get a card and a short note.
When I am done, I know exactly what I have to do for each person – and it makes it easier to get it done.
Use Technology
Let’s get the technology bit out of the way straight off the bat. Yes, there is no harm in posting holiday greetings on social media. So go ahead and do that. But don’t let it stop there. We can put technology to use in helping us directly reach out to people and let them know we are thinking of them.
Email Cards
There are a wide variety of holiday email cards you can send out. As an environmentalist, I like this idea – no paper, no gas for the postman, and no waste to dispose of. And for some people, sending an email card is a great way to keep in touch.
However, this can turn into the equivalent of one of those generic holiday newsletters; copy and paste on the computer is easy! I recommend having a base greeting and then personalizing each one of the cards you send. Yes, it’s more effort, but isn’t the point of this to let people know you are thinking of them specifically?
Resources: American Greetings ($) and Blue Mountain Cards (free)
Labels For Cards
There are some people who prefer paper cards. And I believe there are some people who should receive paper cards – close family and older relatives. And while it is even more effort to send out these types of cards (because there is no copy/paste), you can still make it easier.
I recommend using your computer to print out labels for the envelopes. I have two reasons for this: 1) the address will be right, because it is copied from your address book; and 2) it will make processing by the post office more efficient, because there is no handwriting to decipher.
If you’re going to go through the effort of handwriting the cards, do everything you can to make sure it reaches the destination!
Resources: How to Print Labels in Word, Pages, and Google Docs
Newsletters
I am not a fan of the generic “this is what my family did this year” newsletter. But at the same time, it might be the only time you catch up with people.
You can make these letters personal while making them efficient – all by applying technology. The way I do this is I write a mostly generic letter, and then I add in a custom paragraph. I do this using the merge feature in word – and have it all print together. You have the choice of either writing the custom text in each letter after it merges, or in Excel before it merges together.
Resources: How to Use Mail Merge in Microsoft Word
Conclusion
Yes, holiday greetings are old fashioned, and they require a bit of effort. But if you are interested in actually reaching out and connecting with people, social media isn’t going to accomplish your aims. At the same time, old fashioned greetings don’t require old fashioned techniques. Bring your holiday greetings into the 21st century by applying techniques to manage your time and energy.
