Balancing Life By Examining Unspoken Commitments
One of the things I struggle with is keeping a decent work-life balance. There is so much that needs to be done, and so much that I want to do! Unfortunately, these two are not always the same.
A recent blog article over at Zen Habits (Don’t Have Time for Goals? Simplify Your Commitments) talked about commitments. Leo had received an email from a working mother who was struggling to be productive. It got me thinking about the unspoken commitments in my life.
Spoken Commitments
It’s easy to be aware of spoken commitments. These are the ones that come about when I say “yes” to someone’s request. I write down what I need to do, and I keep focused on it through my productivity tracking systems. (For more on this, please check out the sister blog, SimpleProductivityBlog.
Spoken commitments have two ways to capture my awareness: they are on my lists, and if for some reason they should fall off, eventually someone is going to ask about it. Both of these are external reminders, and they keep these commitments fairly visible.
Unspoken Commitments
There are also a lot of unspoken commitments in my life. These are the things that come along with the life I have chosen. I don’t necessarily think of them as things I have committed to, but at the same time, they do represent a pull on my attention and time.
For example, I live in a house. That means that I have to perform household maintenance. Laundry, dishes, cleaning, general maintenance are all involved here. It is disastrous if I treat these things like I don’t have to do them, or ignore that they have claims on my time. Think about what would happen if you didn’t do the dishes for a week just because it wasn’t something you felt you had to do. Or if you scheduled your days to the point where you don’t have time to do dishes for a week.
Some unspoken commitments come as a result of things we do for our children. My daughter’s taking piano lessons is not just a commitment on her part. I have the commitment to take her to lessons, pay for lessons and music, keep after her to practice, and attend performances.
Balancing Commitments
Part of living a balanced life is recognizing the pulls on our attention and time. I believe that many times we feel stress as working mothers because we don’t recognize our unspoken commitments, and our lives become overly busy.
As an instructive exercise, do a time journal for the next week. ( Time Management Journal) See if you can locate the unspoken commitments you have, as well as get a feel for how much of your time they consume.
When you know all the things that you are committed to, you can then decide if things are truly necessary, or lower your expectations of other things you can do.
Photo by SuperFantastic
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Balancing work and life seems to be a struggle for many people, especially those with families and children to take care of.
I agree, keeping track of commitments (spoken or unspoken) help a lot in managing time and planning one’s day. Cutting back on distractions such as channel surfing or Internet surfing adds to the time we can use to be productive and make more. Having the sense of accomplishment at the end of a fruitful day also helps one enjoy living more.